How Not To Win Me Back
August 7, 2005
Dear TiVo,
I loved you once. We had a great relationship that began when we got DirecTV along with a DirecTiVo at my parents house. I came to the point that I couldn’t live without you. When I listened to the radio, I’d find myself reaching for an “Instant Replay.” Sometimes it’d even happen during conversations in real life. Not paying attention? Instant Replay. I told everyone how great you are.
When I moved into my apartment, I couldn’t get DirecTV anymore. So, I bought myself a standalone TiVo to go with my cable service. I even cancelled my digital cable, because it didn’t work well with my TiVo and I thought the TiVo was more important.
Then, I bought my high def TV. But my TiVo couldn’t do HDTV. I was sad, because I knew I’d have to use Comcast’s shitty DVR. But, I’m afraid, it was worth it. It does the same basic things that TiVo does, but it doesn’t do them as nicely. Still, I knew I had to call and cancel.
I know its your employess’ job to try to keep me from cancelling. However, when your web site says this:
TiVo® boxes are designed to support standard definition television broadcasts. They will not support High Definition broadcasts… the DVR will only record programs from standard definition channels, and all recordings will be displayed in standard definition.
then your employees shouldn’t ask me, “Well, have you even tried hooking it up?” or when I say that the TiVo doesn’t support the high definition signal, tell me “that’s so not true, HD programs just require more hard drive space. You can get a higher capacity TiVo.” When I explain that after paying a boatload of cash for a HDTV set, I don’t want to cram everything down into standard def just so I can keep using TiVo, your employees shouldn’t sigh audibly and mumble “whatever,” as though I’ve affronted them personally.
I still like you, TiVo. I hope your little deal with Comcast works out so I can use the brilliant TiVo service again. I hope you get off your lazy asses and build a HD TiVo. But until that happens, it’s going to be just a little bit easier to live without TiVo after dealing with your assholes in customer support.
Oh, I’m sorry. You probably want to be alone with the TiVo.
I felt the same way. Except we can still get DirecTV. I am wondering though. DirecTV has an HD receiver with built-in TiVo, and there is a note about amount of storage, and it lists differently between HD and SD, so there appears to be at least one TiVo system that can capture and replay HD programming.
I’ve never enjoyed TiVo, however I cannot live without Comcast’s DVR. Which leads me to believe that TiVo must be the rah digga. Its probably like comparing Coors Light with Grey Goose vodka.
Should I expect a “Dear Amanda” letter if I ever piss you off? Let me start it for you….
Dear Amanda,
Its not that I don’t like you, it is just that your beauty surpasses anything I could ever give you.I am not worthy.
Just playin’ boo. We both know who the hot one is in our relationship.